Yes, I’ve been away, but now I’m back. George (Hoblip), who is, by the way a Brownie, has been pestering me to regale him with another hysterical medical tidbit. he wants cheering up after trying, and failing, to haunt the dreams of one World Cup semi-final referee. He’s normally good at alpha wave taunting, but this time has been unable to make any headway against a bloke with a soul so black. Shame on you Mr Rolland. For tonight’s homework, 100 lines on ‘decide in haste, repent at leisure’.

Anyway, time for cheering George up—so we’ll go with Stools


How long should stools be?

Long enough to be comfortable but not so long that they stop your feet from touching the ground.—J Garbor, furniture maker. LOL

Stool to forearm length is often used as a measure of fibre intake. Many African tribesmen whose diet consists predominately of unrefined vegetable matter have a stool to forearm ratio approaching 1:1.

Editor: No one has yet explained how exactly this measure is taken. Are the stools “laid dry” on graph paper, for example. Or is a plaster cast taken of the forearm and used as a measuring stick to dip into the water closet ? The mind boggles just as the nostrils clench.



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